Archive | April, 2012

Crazy Pic of The Week

30 Apr

pic: http://www.ntnews.com.au

This week’s Crazy Pic was taken on Bagot rd just out of Darwin City in 2008 by Camden Smith. Today it was reported another guy was riding his scooter down the very same rd yesterday in … yep you guessed it , a Mankini ;D

Here is the article to go with this pic , provided by the NT News website , enjoy !

 

A MAN caused a stir on Top End streets yesterday by cruising around on a motorised scooter wearing just a mankini.

The red-headed, tattooed man stopped traffic and turned the heads of many Saturday morning shoppers.

He was wearing a slimming black mankini, shoes and a helmet.

NEWSBREAKER Camden Smith captured this photo of the irreverent motorcyclist at 9.45am yesterday.

Mr Smith was driving along Bagot Rd and came up alongside the man at lights.

“The closer you got, the more it became obvious that he was in the buff,” he said. “His buttocks were hanging over his pocket rocket.”

A 28-year-old Darwin fashion identity, who asked not to be named, saw the man just minutes later in the centre of Darwin.

“He was motoring gleefully through the crowded CBD streets, stopping onlookers in their tracks, with so much flesh on show,” she said.

“He really looked like he was enjoying himself,” the eyewitness said.

“I thought he must have been wearing his mankini to feel comfortable in our hot, wet conditions.

“Luckily he was wearing a bumbag that protected some of his modesty.”

The motorcyclist is not the first brave Territorian to slip into the revealing one-piece made famous by Sacha Baron Cohen’s character Borat.

“Mr Mankini” famously streaked across TIO stadium at the AFL Bulldogs and Fremantle clash in June 2007.

The man, sporting a fetching blue mankini, had the 11,000 strong crowd hooting and screaming as he outran security. The crowd leapt to his defence when he cleared the fence, some by throwing him clothes, others by pinning security guards to the fence so he could escape.

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Donuts on a diet , Payphones and Blonde Moment # 357855

26 Apr

A common Telstra phone box

A common Telstra phone box (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Donuts on a diet , Payphones and Blonde Moment # 357855

Today started off great. I woke up early , had enough time to actually enjoy my coffee and for once had a hassle free drive to the Hot 100 office. I let my self in with my newly acquired key (up until 2 days ago I had to knock on the back door for ages before anyone heard me and let me in). I loaded the van with milk , newspapers and free passes to every bloody event happening in Darwin this weekend. I then made my way to the bakery to pick up the donuts and cakes that taunt me every morning . I have to give them away along with all the other free stuff and no I can’t even sneak any for myself because I am a girl so of course I’m on a permanent diet (well I try but lets face it my love affair with steak and red wine always see’s me falling off the wagon )

The temptation I face on a daily basis .. It’s not easy I tell ya ;) pic: fanpop.com

I managed to get all of this done with plenty of time to spare so I made my way out to the furthest suburb from the city – which coincidentally is also where I live so I gave myself a pat on the back for going so far out of my way not once but twice ;)

Any-hoo I arrived to my destination with 15 mins to spare so I had plenty of time to read over my new script and organize all the free shit. With 7 mins before going to air I went to get my phone so I was ready when they called. I looked through my bag – no phone .. Ok don’t panic I told myself , It’s probably in the back of the van. I searched the entire van , still no phone …………

FAAAAARRRRRKKK was pretty much all I could say for the next 5 mins as I drove at a million miles an hour to the nearest pay phone. By this time I should have been on air doing my little spiel but no , instead I was at a pay phone calling Telstra directory trying to get the number for the studio. The first number I got no one would pick up. The next number I called was some old dude’s home phone and finally on the third call Sarah from Hot 100 answered .. thank god. So I did my cross this morning from a pay phone outside the post office . Yep like a pro ;)

When I got back into the station I dropped in to see Tom and Sarah and we had a bit of a laugh about the whole thing .. Tom said he wanted to put this song on air in my honor …

A Croc Story In the NT News ? No Way , Who’d of Thunk It ? !

25 Apr

I opened my copy of the NT news today and what did I see ? Surprise surprise there was a big fat crocodile staring me in the face .. well maybe not quite staring at me as its eyes were covered in tape but I sure as hell couldn’t miss the picture – it was half a page !

As you would know by now from reading my blog Territorians are very proud of these gigantic killing machines and at least once a week they are on the front page of the paper . In fact if there hadn’t of been a murderous gunman on the loose yesterday then this croc probably would have made the cover of today’s paper ..

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Pic : http://www.ntnews.com.au – this pic does not do this croc justice – he is 4.83 meters long

The story behind this bad boy is that he has been harassing fishing boats in the Corroboree Billabong for a while now. The latest incident happened 2 days ago when  a group of mates were out fishing in a 5.5 meter fiberglass boat. The curious croc snuck up on them and gave them a scare as he bashed his body and tail against the side of the boat. He stalked the boat for two hours popping his head up every ten minutes to check on his potential meal and giving them the evil eye. The blokes that reported it did so because the croc was nearly the size of the boat and if it was a smaller boat they probably would have been dinner for the croc who has now been captured and will be taken to a local croc farm to breed . Lets just hope he doesn’t pull an Elvis and eat his potential girlfriend …. ;)

Aussie’s Gone Wild .. A TV star punches hotel staff in Miami & A Murderer is On The Loose

24 Apr

He is not a Territorian but I can’t help it , I have to give you the latest gossip on the train wreck who calls himself Matthew Newton. Best known for playing underworld hit man Terry Clarke in the Underbelly: Tale of Two Cities TV show , Matthew seems to fancy himself as a bit of a tough guy in real life – unfortunately for his girlfriends. ( Matthew has been charged with assault twice over the last few years both by former girlfriends of his).

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Matthew with one of his many assault victims , ex girlfriend and Transformers star Rachael Taylor

He has also been charged with assaulting a Taxi driver in Sydney and just last week refusing to leave a bar in Miami.

One of Matthew’s many mug shots ……

This time Matty did a Russell Crowe and spat the dummy over a hotel phone. He hit the hotel clerk who fell on the floor. Matt then lay down next to him , staring at the ceiling before rolling over and speaking to the employee (as seen on the surveillance camera – it isn’t reported publicly what he was saying).

Matthew was later arrested in his hotel room. Time to stop trying to act like a tough guy Matthew – your Dad is TV king Bert Newton .. you’re not foolin’ anybody !

Closer to home (too close in my opinion) we had a murderer on the loose this morning in Darwin. It was all they could talk about on the Radio at work this morning ( well that and Anzac Day). Last night a man was shot dead after he and his girlfriend were held hostage by gunman Matthew Vanko (seems to be a pattern here …). The woman managed to escape without getting hurt.

Until 8.30 this morning we were advised that: A CRAZY KILLER IS ON THE LOOSE ! DO NOT APPROACH ! HE IS ARMED AND EXTREMELY DANGEROUS !!!!!

He handed himself in peacefully a 830 am. Crisis over people.

No the Blair Witch is NOT in Darwin .. Its just Trevor .. Again

23 Apr

PIC: http://www.ntnews.com.au

 

I reported last month that Trevor the Rubbish Warrior was running for Lord Mayor of Darwin . Despite his many supporters he did not win the election and came fourth in the three seat vote count for a chair on the Darwin Council. Oh well maybe next year.

He is gaining more notoriety since his campaign  and his stick sculptures have been declared works of art by the Darwin council , with council workers instructed to leave them alone. Yes I’m serious. Driving home from  my shift at Hot 100  this morning I nearly ran over our mate Trev. He had constructed at least 15 statues this morning along one of Darwin’s busiest roads , just out of the city and by the looks of it was continuing to build more ….

If you are new to town or on holidays you would be forgiven for thinking that we have the Blair Witch living here in Darwin.

An example of Trevor’s rubbish statues

 

PIC : http://blogs.abc.net.au/

The Blair Witch’s Stick statues

PIC: Blair Witch Project official website.

 

Pilot Texting whilst Flying, The Living Dead , A Rap Star That Cant Take the Heat and A Really Good Mate ….

20 Apr

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Well today’s copy of the NT news was a bloody good read !

First , we have a story relating to an incident that happened 2 years ago on a Darwin to Singapore Jet star flight . Apparently the First Officer tried to get his Captains attention twice to go through the landing checklist and getting no response he looked over to see his Captain texting away on his mobile phone.

The Captain tried to get out of this by saying that he was turning his phone off .. Yep sure buddy , we believe you …. Anyway as Captain Dickhead was so busy  “turning off”   his phone he neglected to lower the landing gear which is kinda essential when it comes to landing a plane. Luckily for the oblivious passengers the First Officer was able to call for a second landing attempt and everyone was safe .. phew !

Next up is the news that local actor David Gulpilil is actually NOT dead . The organizers of Australian TV Week Logie Awards included David in the In Memorial segment of the awards. No guys , David is not dead at all , in fact he is safe and sound in the Berrimah Correction Center after being sentenced to 5 months prison for breaking his wife’s arm. Before David ran into trouble with the law he starred in some awesome Aussie films such as Crocodile Dundee , Australia (with Nicole Kidman ) and Rabbit Proof Fence. He is another case of someone very talented being taken over by alcohol. Hopefully he gets his shit together this time :)

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David in 1985 chillin on Bondi beach pic: aasd.com.au

Another famous face was also in the paper today ,  American rap star Ice Cube came to Darwin this week performing for 880 concert goers on Tuesday night. Yep that’s right 880 – pretty crappy turnout if you ask me ! And the concert promoters must agree as they needed at least 3000 people to attend to break even.

Woops

Although bugger all people turned up Ice Cube didn’t seem to mind ( hey he gets his fee whether they show up or not ) and the big fella reckons he ll be back.

I don’t know , from the look of him in this pic I don’t think he can handle the heat … ;)

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The Ice Cube is starting to melt ….. Pic: http://www.ntnews.com.au

And the story that tops it all off ..

2 mates on their way from Tennant Creek to Darwin decided to make the trip a bit more interesting by stealing some grog while they stopped in at the Wayside Inn , Hayes Creek . They continued on their merry way drinking , driving , endangering innocent road users .. they somehow made it safely to Darwin .. well that is until they hit the suburb of Parap where the trouble started.

It turns out the passenger in the car decided it was a good time to confess to the driver of the car that he had been shagging his missus . The driver punched his mate in the head who retaliated by grabbing a metal steering lock and striking back. The passenger then jumped out of the car and ran away climbing over a 2 meter cyclone proof fence. The driver took off but after driving 50 meters up the road changed his mind , turned his car around and sped towards the fence knocking it down in the process. Driving over the fence he continued to speed towards his so-called mate , trying to run him over. Somehow (probably due to the excessive amounts of grog in his system ) he failed to hit his ‘friend’. He has been charged with recklessly endangering his mates life . His parents must be so proud.

Thank you to http://www.ntnews.com.au and http://www.news.com.au for the references ;) x

My Blonde Moment #357854

19 Apr

On my epic roady across the country I had many blonde moments – this one takes the cake :

I had been driving for a while and busting to use the ladies so I decided to stop in at a little country pub in the Clare Valley region. I parked outside and left Chaos in the car while i did what i had to do ( It was 0 degrees outside , no need to call animal welfare ).

After I finished I went back inside the pub to buy something to drink and no one was in the pub – no staff or customers which I thought was a bit weird but then  country pubs are pretty laid back…. After 10 minutes of waiting I started to get  pissed off  . Bugger it I thought to myself Ill go and get a drink up the road. I stormed out of the pub to find a crowd gathered on the footpath , a couple of them looking as pissed off as I felt .. I looked at the carpark and realized why – my troopy obviously had a faulty handbrake (amongst other things ) and because I had only just started driving a manual I didn’t realize you have to leave them in gear when you park them. Which explains why my car had rolled down the slope and landed smack bang into this old guy’ s Nissan Patrol. Luckily for me he didn’t want to involve the cops because he was drunk and shouldn’t have been driving in the first place.

Anyway if Chaos had a phone I’m pretty sure he would have sent me this ….

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Welcome to Ramingining !!

18 Apr

 

 

As I mentioned in a previous post Just over a year ago – Easter weekend to be exact – I flew with my partner Dave to the remote bush community of Ramingining NT (aka Ramo ).

Check out the airport !!

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Dave works for the East Arnhem Shire as a Grader operator and it is up to him to fix all of the public roads around East Arnhem Land. Most of these roads are not sealed and every wet season they are damaged by flooding.

The reason he was sent to Ramo was because this road below is the only road to the barge landing where the community receives their food and fuel supplies ………..

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Until we got there they had been using this awesome machine to get food into town

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I then decided to use it as my own personal tour bus ……

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Despite the fact they were told not to use the road until Dave had it fixed locals kept trying to get down to the barge landing as it is also a great fishing spot .. most of the time they were unsuccessful

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Dave used gravel , trees ( yeah I was like tree s , WTF ?, but it is the bush !) and sandbags to fill in the road enough to get the trucks through.

The most memorable moment for me was when Dave needed to get the dump truck to the barge and no one else was around to help him ( he also had to have another vehicle there to get home in). I ended up driving the truck along the boggy road in the dark. Dave was supposed to be following me but when I looked behind me he had gone. Worried , I stopped the truck and flagged down a car load of locals ( who shouldn’t have been driving on the road but hey cant tell them that ). I asked them to let Dave know I would keep going until I got to the barge and to tell him to pick me up. I got back on the road and made it to the barge landing. I was there for 5 minutes until I saw headlights coming towards me which I assumed was Dave.

It wasn’t Dave , it was the locals I had stopped earlier. They pulled up next to me and told me they would wait with me until I got picked up. I asked them if they were worried I would get attacked by a croc or buffalo and they just shook their heads and said “no no ghosts will get you “

Just great like there isn’t enough living shit around here that wants to kill me now I have to worry about ghosts ??

Dave eventually showed up and I thanked the locals for staying with me and got in the car. On the way home I asked Dave about these ghosts and he told me that there are a lot of spirits out in Arnhem Land but he would not talk about them especially in the bush . To this day I’m not sure what they thought would happen to me but apparently it wouldn’t have been good.

After 2 weeks of no alcohol , trashy gossip mags or newspapers of any kind we finally were allowed to leave ( I make this place sound like prison – it wasn’t that bad we got more than one hour a day to exercise ). Dave absolutely loved it but then you can fish anywhere in Ramo even the on the side of the road -

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the Barramundi were huge !!

To give you an idea of how remote and flooded Arnhem Land is at this time of year I will finish this with a pic I took flying over the floods to get into Ramo.

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They Cant Be Serious !

17 Apr

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Today s front page news .. a proposal to open ‘Grog camps ” or to put it nicely ‘ designated drinking areas for homeless people “.

The NT news quoted Larrakia Nation head Ilana Eldridge as saying “there are examples in other countries where people who want to drink them selves to death can do it without impacting on others”.

Really ? Id like to know which countries …..

They are proposing an area with kitchen and bathroom facilities as well as a locked fence “to keep people out so the people inside are safe” and “reduce the death toll on the roads”.

WTF ???

To me this says that adults with drinking problems now no longer have to take responsibility for their actions because we will put a fence around them and leave them to it. There are so many things wrong with this I have no idea where to start. Well firstly the amount of deaths last month in town camps , especially Alice Springs is disgusting. And they were all due to fights  caused by excessive drinking.

Secondly who is going to pay for this ? Yup , me and the rest of the taxpayers in Australia – I don’t mind helping homeless people but encouraging them to kill themselves with drink .. Hmmm doesn’t feel right to me.

And finally (although I could rant about this all day) how will this be a solution to the family dysfunction , alcoholism and unemployment which is sky high already in the Territory ? It s like some one said  “fuck this , its all too hard ” and literally put these people in the too hard basket  …  or fence ;)

I really hope for the sake of these people and the NT that they scrap this proposal.

Picture from today’s NT news paper http://www.ntnews.com.au

The Bloody Troopy Strikes Again !!!!

16 Apr

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As you would of gathered from previous posts I drive an early 1990′s model Toyota Land cruiser “Troop Carrier” which is basically a  4 wheel drive with no back seats. Mine also has a hole in the drivers side floor although I’m pretty sure this was custom made for my particular troopy ( I found this out when I discovered a high heel sticking out of the bottom of my car don’t ask me how the hell it got there !).

My problem with this car is not the fact that it is covered with rust and resembles a large boat with wheels. My problem is the back axle keeps falling out. Yes I’m serious ! It is happening every 3 weeks on average. It first happened when me and Chaos completed our epic roady  across the country. Since then we have had it fixed about 5 times and now Dave just fixes it himself which is handy except today I was driving along when BANG ! There it goes again ! I’m old school with this situation by now so I jumped out of the car pulled the axle out chucked it in the back , put the car in 4 wheel drive and kept going ;D Yup bush mechanics 101 !

Dave is out bush for a week so Ill have to give Danny from the pub a bottle of Smirnoff to fix it .. Again ;)

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The studs snapped off , axle about to pop – this was the last time it happened in Batchelor NT last month

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Dave the mechanic – can he fix it ? Yes he can .. for a little while anyway !

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