There are so many things I have to write about at the moment. As the end of ‘wet season’ comes to an end ( what a joke , I think it rained 5 times ?! ) the crocs up here in the topend are moving around more and can be found just about anywhere you turn. So there have been ‘ croc attacks’ ( one guy got bitten on the head apparently , but still survived to tell the NT news all about it another guy appeared on the front page last week after he was ‘attacked’ by a croc which was all of 1 meter long .. ) and heaps of croc sightings . But I have been too busy dealing with my own life threatening situations to think up witty blog posts to go with the above news stories.
It all started with this:
Now we don’t normally go around shooting snakes , but this bugger was headed for Chaos’s bed and the outside loo so he had to go . Luckily for us Maisy is more switched on than Chaos and went banana’s when she saw the snake. Chaos just kept snorin’ away in ignorant bliss …..
Unfortunately Maisy wasn’t so bright a few nights later when what I thought was a bikini string came to life on my kitchen floor
I had just put Marli down and walked into the kitchen on my way to the toilet. I noticed a shiny looking string on the tiles and thought it had come out of a dress or bikini top. But something made me stop when I went to pick it up. So I stood on the other side of the kitchen and threw random crap from the kitchen bench at it until it jumped and started slithering towards me with its head raised looking a tad bit pissed off ….. This is the point when I realized just because I live in the bush doesn’t mean I am any good at dealing with situations that involve venomous animals. So I ran outside in my knickers and called Dave who was never going to be able to help because he was on the other side of the country at a wedding. So I yelled at him for 5 minutes , hung up , called a girlfriend who had just finished a massive Sunday session and could not legally drive anywhere. Out of options I called the pub up the road and luckily for me the barmaid felt sorry for me and sent her boyfriend over to get rid of the snake ( which turned out to be called a Bandy Bandy ).
The boyfriend tried to remove the snake without killing it but by this stage it was well and truly pissed off and ended up getting decapitated.
Not even two weeks later my mother flew up to help out with Marli and after a shopping trip we were walking across the lawn when I noticed the stick I was about to step on had eyes …. My Mum was so brave , she grabbed a crow bar and smacked it over the back but we’re not sure if she killed it or not because it freaked out and headed for the garden bed … I haven’t seen it since …..
Today was a proud day for the Northern Territory. A day that I’m predicting will spark many , many arguments between North Queensland and the Top end of the Northern Territory. No it’s not the election , no one gives a rats arse about that , it is the news that Filipino croc Lolong has gone to crocodile heaven ( ew can you imagine that for a moment … nope not a happy place … ) and left ‘our’ Cassius (pictured) with the title of the Worlds Largest Croc in captivity. The fact that Cassius lives and has lived in Queensland since 1987 is not important to the Northern Territory. What is important is that it was here he was found chewing on boat propellers and other non appropriate food items before being shipped off to spend the rest of his life in a small swimming pool on Green Island , North Queensland. It will be interesting to see how the Queensland media responds to the NT laying claim to the croc they refer to as a ‘Queenslander’ – watch this space !
Picture credit : Courier Mail ( Brisbane )
Top Picture credit http://www.news.com.au
I have been out of the ‘bush’ for 6 weeks now .. and still hate the traffic !! I arrived in Melbourne over a week ago to start the Christmas celebrations with my family(s) . Over a week and a half we celebrate with 3 Christmas dinners – I’m going to look like a stuffed Turkey by New Years Eve !! As I haven’t been in the Territory for 6 weeks I haven’t had much to report on Kels Gone Bush but I can tell you if you are trying to get in or out of East Arnhem Land this week you will have to take a boat with you just in case !! Yep it is officially wet season and the rains are a comin !! Dave was supposed to hit Darwin last night after leaving Gove NT yesterday in our land cruiser ute with his tinny on the back. I received a frantic call from one of his mates this morning , who told me that Dave had called him at 1am from the satellite phone and before he could figure out what Dave was saying the phone died. Awesome news when you are in Melbourne and can do absolutely nothing about the situation ! After calling the bush police and sending a few Facebook messages to locals in Gove we finally heard from him at 2pm as he was arriving in Katherine NT. He thought we were both bloody idiots for worrying but even though he is one of the most capable males I have met , he is still human and those river crossings are not the safest in Australia – if only because of the flash flooding and oodles of crocodiles !! Any-hoo he made it out alive which is all I care about at this point.
* Taken on the central Arnhem Hwy last year for the NT News http://www.ntnews.com.au
I will be flying back to the Territory on Boxing day and cant wait to bring you all another year of crazy sh*t from the outback I have big plans for Kels Gone Bush next year and am hoping that the baby motivates me more than stops me from carrying them out. Until then I wish you all a VERY Merry Christmas , and a safe one … Bring on 2013 it is going to be even bigger and better !!!! Love to everyone Xx Kel
A saltwater crocodile takes on a helicopter – according to the website I found this on the crewman said to the pilot “Keep your doors closed , I think we have a problem !”
You think ??
Pic thanks to http://www.2dayfm.com.au
In true Territory style , the under 12 Litchfeild Bears Rugby team celebrated the fact they have made it to the semi finals this year with a pool party – and among the guests was a 11-year-old 2 meter long saltwater croc called Snappy. The kids had the time of their lives swimming with a real live croc who had his snout safely shut with rubber bands . Poor Snappy tried to hide in the deep end ( he must love under 12 rugby teams about as much as I do ..) but the kids were not going to let him get away easily , diving down and pushing the pissed off croc back up to the surface . According to one of the parents , the kids “loved it , everyone had big smiles on”…. well except Snappy who probably would have been smiling if those rubber bands slipped off his snout !!
Pic and info : http://www.ntnews.com.au
Todays front page of the NT News www.ntnews.com.au
The northern Territory is a magical place full of awesome landscapes , beautiful sunsets , golden opportunities and some fucking crazy animals.
The other day , a couple in Howard Springs , just south of Darwin , woke to find a water buffalo roaming around their property. Despite being pretty bloody dangerous , this buff seemed quiet tame and the lady of the house was able to pat the beast .. well until it started headbutting her as what she hoped was a sign of affection ….
After a while they had to head off to work and assumed the Buffalo had left the property by the time they arrived home.
They arrived home that evening to find the Buff had taken a fancy to their spa !
This seems to happen a lot up here , animals thinking that if its good enough for humans then they should get a go too . Earlier this year I wrote a post about a croc who broke into the living room of a Darwin based family and 2 years ago a croc was found in another family’s outdoor spa.
So the moral of the story is be very wary entering your home or your pool if you live in the Territory – you never know what might be lurking in there !
Pic : wallcoo.net
I thought I owed it to you guys to bring you the conclusion to the story of the bloke who shoved a lit fire cracker in his bum not so long ago. It was reported in the NT News today that he would not be charged for the incident as the police feel he has suffered enough – for once I agree with them. I am really thinking about contacting this guy for a kel style interview but I’m not sure how he will react – apparently he is not keen on any interviews about the firecracker in the bum thing. Not sure why …
Moving right along we had another classic NT news story today. The headline was – I kid you not – ” Man bites croc on snout after croc bites another mans head” Some men were fishing in croc infested waters and one was in the water doing god knows what ( I’m not into fishing , can you tell ??) when a croc leaped out of the water and grabbed him by the head pulling him under the waves. The rest of the story involves one of his mates biting the reptile on the snout whilst his other mate stabbed the croc repeatedly with a screw driver as the croc kept losing and then regaining his grip on the poor fisherman who was in the middle of all the drama. In the end the croc gave up and swam off to eat a barramundi or something and the injured fisherman lived to see another day , surprisingly with all his limbs intact.
Just another day in the Northern Territory !
I have just returned to Darwin after 2 glorious weeks in sunny Broome WA , which was pretty much the same as sunny Darwin NT except the locals reckon there are no crocs on the beach. This made Dave laugh when I told him so to be safe I just stuck a toe or 2 in the water’s edge then freaked out and ran back up the sand dunes .. like the tough bushwoman I am
We worked 6 days a week and had both Sunday’s off , which was when we decided to do our tourist crap. The first week we were taken to a couple of local beaches only accessible by 4wheel drive
Price Point , 1/2 hour drive from Broome. They are planning to build a gas plant out here which the hippy’s and locals are not happy about . They have been camped out here for months protesting …
Next stop , the town beach where I thought Id use my creativity and pose with a rock ..
And finally got a lift home in the back of a Troopy which was a slightly better version of my old one …
The next Sunday was our last day in Broome. We decided to mark the occasion by going on a camel ride which I thought everyone in Broome did but apparently not. All the locals were like ” What do you wanna ride a bloody camel for ? You should go to the croc farm” to which I replied “What would I want to see a bloody croc for ? I live in Darwin!”
Anyway here are the camel riding pics , it was a gorgeous sunset ride .. Our camels name was Issacc just in case your interested
Ruby , Issacc and I
Adios Amigo’s .. oh shit that’s Spanish ! Sayin goodbye Territory Style !!
My friends from WA , Kristy (pictured) and Leah found some of Darwin’s hottest bachelor’s !!!
Sorry I have not been very punctual with the crazy pics – they are supposed to be published weekly and I think I have missed the last 2 weeks all together !! Well I do have my reason’s…
A) In order to write this blog I need to get out there and do shit so I can write about it .. otherwise I may as well just post link’s to a NT tourism site and be done with it ..
B) I am still hard at work getting my event planning bizo up and running ( hard when everyone around you run’s on Territory Time ).
C) I have decided to take a fellow blogger’s advice ( Kathy from Reinventing the Event Horizon) who suggested after a post I wrote that I turn my stories into a book .. which isn’t quite happening yet however I have written 1034 words so far , so , you know , I’m on my way
As well as all this soon I plan to have a Vlog section of my blog which will basically show me , making a dick of myself , in front of the entire world .. lucky for me I’m willing to sacrifice my dignity for my art :p I also haven’t forgotten my promise (threat) to start publishing recipe’s .. this WILL happen as soon as I get my appetite back ( I have been a bit crook over the past few days – the last thing I felt like doing was cooking). So keep an eye out for Croc Kebabs and Roo Burgers coming soon …..
Ok so I probably sound like I’m taking on way too much at once but that’s how I roll .. Life would be too bloody boring otherwise
Hello my long-lost fellow blogger’s ! I have been a very slack girl in the blogging world lately and feel I owe it to you all (again!) to explain why .
First of all my two mates from WA arrived a week ago and I have been playing tour guide again. We have been to all the hotspots such as Litchfeild National Park and a few pubs on Mitchell street ( can’t remember which ones , the girls were feeding me double vodka’s … ). After a great recommendation by my mate Phil O’brian Monday and Tuesday saw us soaking up the awesome landscape and serenity on this really cool houseboat
We floated along the Mary River for 2 days on this bad boy and I know you all wont believe me but I have NEVER seen so many crocodiles IN MY LIFE !! No shit there was one every 20 meters along the bank. The girls made a Kels Gone Bush video for my You tube and blog so I wont go into more detail lets just say you’ll find it quite amusing .. I did kind of take the piss out of the show Swamp People .. and made my first bush tucker recipe for you all to enjoy woo hoo !
As well as all this excitement I have just started my new company and website http://www.instyleeventsandpromotions.com for anyone who wants a gander ….. This has been taking up most of my spare time and if you do check out the site you will see I still have stacks of work to do .. but I’m getting there !
So I hope you will all excuse me for my absence – Dave and the girls fly out Sunday so I will be back in fine form next week to block out the pangs of loneliness I will no doubt experience come Sunday night ! At least I still have my blogging fam to catch up on I cant wait to sit down and read all of my favorite blogs for 4 hrs solid !!
Before I go I would just like to ask am I the only one that has a thousand awesome ideas a day but absolutely no time to ever pull them off ??? Maybe I should sell them
I’ll be back sooooooon !