There are so many things I have to write about at the moment. As the end of ‘wet season’ comes to an end ( what a joke , I think it rained 5 times ?! ) the crocs up here in the topend are moving around more and can be found just about anywhere you turn. So there have been ‘ croc attacks’ ( one guy got bitten on the head apparently , but still survived to tell the NT news all about it another guy appeared on the front page last week after he was ‘attacked’ by a croc which was all of 1 meter long .. ) and heaps of croc sightings . But I have been too busy dealing with my own life threatening situations to think up witty blog posts to go with the above news stories.
It all started with this:
Now we don’t normally go around shooting snakes , but this bugger was headed for Chaos’s bed and the outside loo so he had to go . Luckily for us Maisy is more switched on than Chaos and went banana’s when she saw the snake. Chaos just kept snorin’ away in ignorant bliss …..
Unfortunately Maisy wasn’t so bright a few nights later when what I thought was a bikini string came to life on my kitchen floor
I had just put Marli down and walked into the kitchen on my way to the toilet. I noticed a shiny looking string on the tiles and thought it had come out of a dress or bikini top. But something made me stop when I went to pick it up. So I stood on the other side of the kitchen and threw random crap from the kitchen bench at it until it jumped and started slithering towards me with its head raised looking a tad bit pissed off ….. This is the point when I realized just because I live in the bush doesn’t mean I am any good at dealing with situations that involve venomous animals. So I ran outside in my knickers and called Dave who was never going to be able to help because he was on the other side of the country at a wedding. So I yelled at him for 5 minutes , hung up , called a girlfriend who had just finished a massive Sunday session and could not legally drive anywhere. Out of options I called the pub up the road and luckily for me the barmaid felt sorry for me and sent her boyfriend over to get rid of the snake ( which turned out to be called a Bandy Bandy ).
The boyfriend tried to remove the snake without killing it but by this stage it was well and truly pissed off and ended up getting decapitated.
Not even two weeks later my mother flew up to help out with Marli and after a shopping trip we were walking across the lawn when I noticed the stick I was about to step on had eyes …. My Mum was so brave , she grabbed a crow bar and smacked it over the back but we’re not sure if she killed it or not because it freaked out and headed for the garden bed … I haven’t seen it since …..
OK so lets just ignore the fact that I’m not very good at updating my crazy pics weekly and just appreciate the Australian Outback s version of Bikini Babes …
- Back Home for Christmas (gumnutkid.wordpress.com)
Chaos dealing with the heat of the ‘buildup’ – yes he managed to get his whole head underwater the crazy bugger !!
(That was the day I decided walking him before 5 pm is not a great idea )
Ahhhh real bush living , it doesn’t get much better than this . My new house is doing me the world of good , and I don’t regret moving out here at all .. Its just some things take more getting used to than others …
I have become the female Aussie version of Dr Dolittle . Indoors or outdoors every time I turn around a little non-human face is watching me. I have a house full of geckos , a toilet full of green tree frogs – and occasionally the odd spider , a possum or two in the roof and the biggest fattest cane toads in Australia. A few days ago I was walking Chaos and spotted my first snake out here which was a bit ironic as I was walking through the nudist camp next door – my mother of all people was the first one to turn that story into a rude joke . I go to have a shower and there is usually a tree frog hiding under the taps ( I suspect as I am starting to look like a tree frog myself he may be perving on me …)
I don’t mind him apart from the fact he moves between the toilet and the shower which makes him a bit of a weirdo but at least he isn’t a toad …
The cane toads can always be relied upon to show up when you least expect it , like when you grab your shoe off the ground and a toad the size of Dave’s hand jumps out from underneath ( at 5am in the morning this is a better wake up call than coffee).
Apart from the nudist’s , my other neighbor’s are buffalo and walking around the block has never been so intimidating. They are apparently ‘tame’ but that doesn’t make me feel any better – just last week a Territory man was gored to death by his own pet bull. And they just stare at you – they make me feel like I’m the one with horns growing out of my head !
So I did what anyone would do when they are surrounded by animals – I got another one ! Introducing Mayhem …
* Little Maisy
Now there is a method to my madness , I bought Mayhem ( Maisy) to keep Chaos company because when this little Gumnut Kid gets here he will not be getting as much attention . I thought a friend would be the perfect solution – I was wrong. For the last few days he has been treating her as if she doesn’t exist. So I have 2 dogs that want my undivided attention instead of amusing each other !!! It will get better I have been told – apparently male dogs aren’t that interested in puppies so hopefully he’ll snap out of his attitude by the time the baby arrives.
I have to finish this post now as Maisy has just regurgitated earplugs all over the floor and I need to clean it up before she walks it through the house ….
- I Look Like a Tree Frog (gumnutkid.wordpress.com)
Dave and I went for a bush – bash in his ‘cruiser through our new property .. And came face to face with this goofy looking termite mound
Pic : Taken by us !
A saltwater crocodile takes on a helicopter – according to the website I found this on the crewman said to the pilot “Keep your doors closed , I think we have a problem !”
You think ??
Pic thanks to http://www.2dayfm.com.au
After about a month of being AWOL , the weekly crazy pics are back – and funnier than ever !!
As no stranger to the adult entertainment industry thanks to 2 years working in an office where my role was to sell strip shows , this does not shock me too much .. However anyone not familiar with the traditional bucks night antics ( In other words most chicks I know ) would probably find this story either completely inappropriate or fucking hilarious. I just think if you want to hire a girl to torpedo sex toys out of god knows where , you need to be prepared for where they might land ..
The story goes that this particular Darwin man was on his bucks night in Brisbane , Qld , where they hired a hotel room and then of course a stripper. This girl was doing her thing which was fine until she accidentally got her aim wrong and smacked the buck in the head with a 12cm pink dildo . The man was still scarred up when he got back to Darwin but holds no grudge towards the stripper who was just doing her job Yes it’s a whole other world in the adult industry but gee they come out with some funny stories !!
Pic and story references thanks to www.ntnews.com.au
I have just returned to Darwin after 2 glorious weeks in sunny Broome WA , which was pretty much the same as sunny Darwin NT except the locals reckon there are no crocs on the beach. This made Dave laugh when I told him so to be safe I just stuck a toe or 2 in the water’s edge then freaked out and ran back up the sand dunes .. like the tough bushwoman I am
We worked 6 days a week and had both Sunday’s off , which was when we decided to do our tourist crap. The first week we were taken to a couple of local beaches only accessible by 4wheel drive
Price Point , 1/2 hour drive from Broome. They are planning to build a gas plant out here which the hippy’s and locals are not happy about . They have been camped out here for months protesting …
Next stop , the town beach where I thought Id use my creativity and pose with a rock ..
And finally got a lift home in the back of a Troopy which was a slightly better version of my old one …
The next Sunday was our last day in Broome. We decided to mark the occasion by going on a camel ride which I thought everyone in Broome did but apparently not. All the locals were like ” What do you wanna ride a bloody camel for ? You should go to the croc farm” to which I replied “What would I want to see a bloody croc for ? I live in Darwin!”
Anyway here are the camel riding pics , it was a gorgeous sunset ride .. Our camels name was Issacc just in case your interested
Ruby , Issacc and I
Adios Amigo’s .. oh shit that’s Spanish ! Sayin goodbye Territory Style !!