Photography

Up The Stick In The Sticks …….. Pregnancy Bush Style


 

Hi Guys ! I have spent the last few days moving ….. to my dream house !! For those of you who have just started reading my blog , or may not remember I wrote a post in May about a house belonging to a mate of Dave’s which I fell in love with ( the house , not Dave’s mate !). I have reblogged the post so you can check out my new digs which actually is just out of Berry Springs , not Batchelor although Batchelor is just up the road 😉
The house is on 50 acres so I can be as loud as I like ! And I may as well make my second announcement now , we have lots of room for our new additions to play !! That s right , Dave and I are expecting our first rugrat ! And to keep Chaos happy we are also getting a puppy which Im thinking about naming Mayhem …. So the house will very soon become a bit of a circus but I couldn’t be happier with the way things have turned out although whoever said being pregnant is fun is an IDIOT – Or has not been pregnant in the Darwin September heat !

 

Kels Gone Bush

Last week my I went out to a small town called Batchelor which is near Litchfeild National Park  about 50km from Darwin. It is also near a town called Rum Jungle where my partner Dave reckon s he should live.

I love going out to Batchelor because it means I get to visit one of my favorite houses which belongs to a mate of Dave’s. The house was originally just a wooden frame with a tin roof and a few rocks here and there posing as walls . Since Dave’s mate bought it he has gathered more rocks and built the rest of the walls , cementing them in to give the place a cave like effect. Its awesome , I hope one day we can build something similar. Then again I change my mind every time I see a new house I like .. I guess I’m going…

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Categories: Australian, bush, entertainment, lifestyle, Photography | Tags: , , , , , | 2 Comments

Crazy Pic of The Week


 

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A saltwater crocodile takes on a helicopter – according to the website I found this on the crewman said to the pilot “Keep your doors closed , I think we have a problem !”

You think ??

Pic thanks to http://www.2dayfm.com.au

 

Categories: crocs, entertainment, funny, Humor, Machinery, motor sports, Photography, WTF | Tags: , , , , , | 3 Comments

Crazy Pic of The Week – Yes It Returns !!!


After about a month of being AWOL , the weekly crazy pics are back – and funnier than ever !!

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As no stranger to the adult entertainment industry thanks to 2 years working in an office where my role was to sell strip shows , this does not shock me too much .. However anyone not familiar with the traditional bucks night antics ( In other words most chicks I know ) would probably find this story either completely inappropriate or fucking hilarious.  I just think if you want to hire a girl to torpedo sex toys out of god knows where , you need to be prepared for where they might land ..

The story goes that this particular Darwin man was on his bucks night in Brisbane , Qld , where they hired a hotel room and then of course a stripper. This girl was doing her thing which was fine until she accidentally got her aim wrong and smacked the buck in the head with a 12cm pink dildo . The man was still scarred up when he got back to Darwin but holds no grudge towards the stripper who was just doing her job 😉 Yes it’s a whole other world in the adult industry but gee they come out with some funny stories !!

Pic and story references thanks to www.ntnews.com.au

Categories: entertainment, funny, Humor, newspaper, Photography, strippers, WTF | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Broome Part 2 : Kellie Vs Camel


I have just returned to Darwin after 2 glorious weeks in sunny Broome WA , which was pretty much the same as sunny Darwin NT except the locals reckon there are no crocs on the beach. This made Dave laugh when I told him so to be safe I just stuck a toe or 2 in the water’s edge then freaked out and ran back up the sand dunes .. like the tough bushwoman I am 😉

We worked 6 days a week and had both Sunday’s off , which was when we decided to do our tourist crap. The first week we were taken to a couple of local beaches only accessible by 4wheel drive

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Price Point , 1/2 hour drive from Broome. They are planning to build a gas plant out here which the hippy’s and locals are not happy about . They have been camped out here for months protesting …

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Next stop , the town beach where I thought Id use my creativity and pose with a rock ..

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And finally got a lift home in the back of a Troopy which was a slightly better version of my old one …

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The next Sunday was our last day in Broome. We decided to mark the occasion by going on a camel ride which I thought everyone in Broome did but apparently not. All the locals were like ” What do you wanna ride a bloody camel for ? You should go to the croc farm” to which I replied “What would I want to see a bloody croc for ? I live in Darwin!”

Anyway here are the camel riding pics , it was a gorgeous sunset ride .. Our camels name was Issacc just in case your interested 😉

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Ruby , Issacc and I

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Awesome sunset

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Adios Amigo’s .. oh shit that’s Spanish ! Sayin goodbye Territory Style !!

Categories: Australian, crocs, entertainment, funny, Humor, lifestyle, Photography, road trips, Travel | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments

A Postcard From Broome


Dear Everyone ,

I have left the Territory ! Not for good , rest easy Ill be back ( yes that’s a threat AND a promise !).

I am currently on a working holiday in Broome , Western Australia which is , according to the brochure in font of me , 2,389 km north of Perth and 1,859 km south west of Darwin NT. I am working at the Roebuck Hotel as a skimpy barmaid 4 hrs a day , 6 days a week and the rest of the time I am shopping , exploring and lying around this place ….

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I have to say the accommodation this venue gives it’s workers makes every other place I have traveled to for work look like prison camps ! We get our own hotel room which is serviced daily and one free restaurant meal a day usually valued around $40. The last time I worked away I was given a room above the pub which in order to go to the toilet I had to walk down two corridors and unlock several doors .. then there was a storm and the roof caved in above my room. The meals were whatever was left at 9pm in the bain maree of the pub next door – usually something nice and cold ;). So needless to say this time round I am in heaven !!

I never did explain to everyone exactly what my blog title is about – well the skimpy style part anyway .. Now seems an appropriate time to do this. I fly to mining towns around Australia and work for two weeks behind the bar of the local pub , usually dressed something like this …

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In some places , every hour a girl will walk around the bar with a jug and collect money then all the skimpys will change into a bikini or lingerie for half an hour while working. I made $5000 in one week doing this ! This particular hotel does not make you do jugs ( pun intended hahaha ) which I like because I hate doing them although the extra money would of been handy. Even without the extra tips I still stand to make $2000 in 2 weeks working bugger all hours so gotta be happy with that !

This Sunday we are being taken on a tour by the locals we have met so I will have more to report on Broome after the weekend. Ill leave you with a few more happy snaps and another apology for being so sporadic with my posts , I am literally all over the place at the moment !!

Cheers ! Kel Xx

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Sun Pictures – An old out door cinema and where I will be tonight after work 😀

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A shady picture of me with a statue of an old school Pearl Diver …

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My co Skimpy and biggest Munroe fan ever the lovely Ruby 🙂

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Checking out some real photography !!

Categories: Aussie pubs, entertainment, fashion, funny, Humor, Photography, Travel | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Another Cracker of A Story


 

The Territory news has spent the last 2 days keeping us informed of some very important news. Nothing to do with the Olympics by the way , much more newsworthy stuff than that ..

Maybe instead of trying to explain this amazing , cant-believe-its-not-global news I’ll just show you the front page of today’s paper :

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Yep , this guy is the territory’s latest candidate for a Darwin award.

In his own words 23 yr old Alex Bowden told the NT news ” I just had a few beers with the boys and let off a few fire crackers ……. And then I decided to put one in my arse”.

What a bloody great idea ? Why the hell have I never thought of doing this party trick myself …
Anyway he did let the NT news know that there wasn’t any major damage “It didn’t burn my balls or my back , just my fingers and my arse”.
He said he did not bleed and could walk afterwards .. Oh and it was also reported in the article that he didn’t cry but he did say fuck a few times.

Gotta love the NT news. Meanwhile I have no idea what is happening in London apart from the 4 Aussie blokes coming 4th in the relay swimming heat and crying about it. Hey guys , try having a fire cracker shoved up your arse !!

This is your nutty reporter signing off , have an awesome week people xx

Source http://www.ntnews.com.au

 

Categories: Australian, Darwin, entertainment, funny, Humor, News, newspaper, Only in the Territory, Photography, WTF | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 19 Comments

Crazy Pic of The Week


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My friends from WA , Kristy (pictured) and Leah found some of Darwin’s hottest bachelor’s !!!

Sorry I have not been very punctual with the crazy pics – they are supposed to be published weekly and I think I have missed the last 2 weeks all together !! Well I do have my reason’s…

A) In order to write this blog I need to get out there and do shit so I can write about it .. otherwise I may as well just post link’s to a NT tourism site and be done with it ..

B) I am still hard at work getting my event planning bizo up and running ( hard when everyone around you run’s on Territory Time ).

C) I have decided to take a fellow blogger’s advice ( Kathy from Reinventing the Event Horizon) who suggested after a post I wrote that I turn my stories into a book .. which isn’t quite happening yet however I have written 1034 words so far , so , you know , I’m on my way 😉

As well as all this soon I plan to have a Vlog section of my blog which will basically show me , making a dick of myself , in front of the entire world .. lucky for me I’m willing to sacrifice my dignity for my art :p I also haven’t forgotten my promise (threat) to start publishing recipe’s .. this WILL happen as soon as I get my appetite back ( I have been a bit crook over the past few days – the last thing I felt like doing was cooking). So keep an eye out for Croc Kebabs and Roo Burgers coming soon …..

Ok so I probably sound like I’m taking on way too much at once but that’s how I roll .. Life would be too bloody boring otherwise 😀

Categories: Australian, bush, crocs, Darwin, entertainment, funny, Humor, Only in the Territory, Photography, random, WTF | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

I Have Been MIA – Sorry Guys , Here is My Excuse Note !!


Hello my long-lost fellow blogger’s ! 🙂 I have been a very slack girl in the blogging world lately and feel I owe it to you all (again!) to explain why .

First of all my two mates from WA arrived a week ago and I have been playing tour guide again. We have been to all the hotspots such as Litchfeild National Park and a few pubs on Mitchell street ( can’t remember which ones , the girls were feeding me double vodka’s … ). After a great recommendation by my mate Phil O’brian  Monday and Tuesday saw us soaking up the awesome landscape and serenity on this really cool houseboat

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We floated along the Mary River for 2 days on this bad boy and I know you all wont believe me but I have NEVER seen so many crocodiles IN MY LIFE !! No shit there was one every 20 meters along the bank. The girls made a Kels Gone Bush video for my You tube and blog so I wont go into more detail lets just say you’ll find it quite amusing .. I did kind of take the piss out of the show Swamp People .. and made my first bush tucker recipe for you all to enjoy woo hoo !

As well as all this excitement I have just started my new company and website http://www.instyleeventsandpromotions.com for anyone who wants a gander ….. This has been taking up most of my spare time and if you do check out the site you will see I still have stacks of work to do .. but I’m getting there !

So I hope you will all excuse me for my absence – Dave and the girls fly out Sunday so I will be back in fine form next week to block out the pangs of loneliness I will no doubt experience come Sunday night ! At least I still have my blogging fam to catch up on 😉 I cant wait to sit down and read all of my favorite blogs for 4 hrs solid !!

Before I go I would just like to ask am I the only one that has a thousand awesome ideas a day but absolutely no time to ever pull them off ??? Maybe I should sell them 😉

I’ll be back sooooooon !

Categories: Arnhem Land, Aussie pubs, Australian, boat, bush, crocs, Darwin, entertainment, fishing, funny, Humor, lifestyle, Only in the Territory, Photography, random, road trips, Travel, video | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Crazy Pic of The Week


This crazy lady was posing on another female’s turf !

http://www.ntnews.com.au

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Categories: bush, crocs, Darwin, entertainment, funny, Humor, Only in the Territory, Photography, WTF | Tags: , , | 2 Comments

V8 Utes in Darwin , Kim Jane and his Team Perform Mechanical Miracles while I Catch up With a Funny Bushman


I just had the best weekend in ages. Once a year the V8 Supercars and Utes come to Darwin for a 3 day event that brings people from all over the country. I was representing Kim Jane and his ute on the grid and in the pit lane.Kim Jane is the nephew of one of Australia’s biggest known race car drivers and the owner of one of the largest national tyre companies , Bob Jane.

I shall now proceed to tell you the story using pictures cos hey that’s heaps more interesting than reading a post where I try to describe anything to do with motor sports ( not my best subject !).

So Day one I had a photo shoot with the ute which was a bit of an on the spot thing – I had just arrived and next thing I know I’m climbing all over a ute . Fun !

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Picture by Wade Aunger and courtesy of V8 Supercars , Kim Jane & crew and TR Management & Promotions

After my shoot I did my first stint on the grid , where they make you hold a race flag , stare straight ahead and try to look pretty ( hard to do when your flag turns into a parachute ). The first one went well and I headed back to the pits to hand out promo gear . A little while later a familiar looking bloke and a young guy approached me with a camera. Now I don’t know if many of you have caught on , but I’m not shy. At all. In fact sometimes I can be a down right bloody show pony but I like to think in a good way – I love to make people laugh and tell a good story ! So when I saw the camera my first instinct wasn’t to run and hide. In fact I was like “hey how ya goin’ , what’s the camera for ?” . It turned out they were filming people around the track to put on the big screen so I did a little spiel for Kim Jane and the Bob Jane Tmart products for him on  camera. When that was done we started chatting away when I looked down at his name tag …. “OMG your Phil O’Brian , your my hero ! I love your shit ! Wow this is awesome , YOU inspired my blog !!” I think I nearly scared the poor bloke with my excitement but after .05 of a millisecond he recovered and we had more of a chat about the Territory , Gove , and his projects. We both agreed to catch up and have a beer and that made my day because c’mon , how many days do you meet one of your heroes and get them to agree to drink with you ?? Well for me its NEVER so I was stoked !

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One of his AWESOME books if you  like my blog even slightly then you will LOVE his adventures he is funny as fark !! You can buy it here 😉

So it wasn’t even lunchtime on the first day and I had been photographed climbing all over a ute in front of oh I don’t know a hundred people , had met at least 2 famous race car drivers and my very own hero !

Next I was told that the second round was ready to go and we had to get back on the grid. And this time it was being shown on live television. With me right up the front on my own , holding the V8 supercar ute flag . Great ! As I said , I’m not shy but the flags were hard to hold in the wind and who wants to look like a dickhead on national TV ?

This was result ….

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Pic credits same as first pic 🙂

That was pretty much it for Day one. Day 2 started off nicely with the wind not so bad I managed to hold onto my flag in the first round. Unfortunately things didn’t go so well for Kim. I wont tell you what happened , you can watch for your self ….

Vid uploaded by V8 utes Australia

He said afterwards he tried to turn the power off as he was getting out to prevent a fire – amazing forward thinking under pressure !

This is his ute afterwards

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That’s it race over right ?

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Wrong. We’re gonna fix this shit ! They had an hour to do it and they made it just in time. Craziest shit I’ve seen in a long time – next time my mechanic tells me to wait 2 or 3 days I’m going to tell him I know better !!!

He didn’t win in the end but he did win down at Perth and the Series is not over yet. It was a great experience meeting all of these awesome people and getting to see the other side of car racing.

By the way I can’t end this post without telling you that while Kim had no more drama’s in his next round , I had to have the bloody flag taken off me while I was ON THE GRID because it was literally about to take me on a trip to the sky !

So I’m gonna end this with 2 more happy snaps – the man who saved me and me pretending I won an award !

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My savior !

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Glammin’ it up at the V8 ute lounge

Categories: Arnhem Land, Aussie pubs, Australian, bush, Darwin, entertainment, fire, funny, Humor, motor sports, Only in the Territory, Photography, video | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

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