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Posts Tagged With: Beer

Skimpy – Explained


Its ten days until the official release of my book , Skimpy ; Outrageous true tales of crocs , snakes and pulling beers in the Topend through Hachette Australia and excited is one word to describe how I’m feeling at the moment. After 2 years of tweaking , and wondering if my efforts would ever see the light of day , the last few months have been a whirlwind. Which is probably why I forgot about this interview with the publicity team at Hachette I recorded back in May. It basically explains where I got the inspiration from ( this blog , thanks guys 😉 ) and what a Skimpy is and basically why they exist in the first place ( apart from many reasons men will always love beer and boobs – well most men.Obviously not gay men.Or arse men. Or men with foot fetishes .. but you get my point). There is a serious side to the Skimpy role in mining towns though. They provide much needed light entertainment at the end of a long shift, in an environment where most workers are thousands of km from their homes/ families/mates/etc. I’m not saying Skimpies fill the role of any of these things but they are a welcome distraction and sometimes even a bit of a connection to the outside world. I remember myself , stuck in Gove for a few months surrounded by flood water and feeling like I was in the most remote place on earth , even I looked forward to the girls flying in from the Gold Coast ! Especially since half of them would smuggle in 5 bags of Hungry Jacks from Cairns. You know your in the bush when a whole pub starts fighting over a 4 hour old Whopper ….

*UPDATE – The full interview with Hachette can be found here on their website .. the youtube clip below provides different content which is hopefully just as riveting !! hahaha   :p

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Categories: animals, Aussie pubs, Australian, book, bush, crocs, entertainment, humour | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Beer – The Aussie Response In Most Situations ….


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Aussie’s are tough buggers. We are more likely to get pissed with our mates when we have a problem than talk about it with a counselor or seek medical attention. Take this bloke I was reading about today as an example. He gets bitten by a brown snake , only one of the top ten most venomous snakes in the country ( and probably the world) and instead of causing a fuss , he dials himself an ambulance and then kicks back with a beer. Apparently the only problem he had was a bad reaction to the anti venom the hospital gave him. Maybe they should have just poured beer on the wound instead …

Anyway , for all the gory details check out this link

Categories: animals, Australian, entertainment, funny, Humor, humour, lifestyle, newspaper | Tags: , , | 1 Comment

Bush Tucker ( I warned you all !!! )


After having a mini meltdown over all the freshly pressed recipes (usually involving a non food item such as lavender … ) featuring on Freshly Pressed , I vowed that if I couldn’t beat them I would join them … and true to my word I have created my first Kels Gone Bush , Bush Tucker recipe … Burgers and Chips totally Bush Style 😉

As well as writing it down for you I have kindly included an instructional video on how to cook them when you have consumed half a carton of beer .. Also some of you may have trouble understanding me at times due to the fact I was speaking fluent boganese , however my friend and editor Phil O’brian kindly added sub titles to help you out .. although even he couldn’t understand me at one stage which says a lot !!

Burgers and Chips – Bush Style

You will need – A knife , a chopping board (optional if you don’t mind roughing it) oil and a camp fire with hot plate or a BBQ ( try not to get one of those $1000 BBQ’s that have a kitchen sink attached – it’s not the same thing !).

Chips

Slice 4 large potatoes , chuck em on the barbie , turn occasionally. When the outside is slightly burnt you know your done.

Burgers

Take 500grams of minced meat preferably beef and mix with one large chopped brown onion. Chuck in a bit of tomato or BBQ sauce ( or whatever is lying around .. watch the chilli sauce though , some people might not like it .. ). Crumb some bread – I did this by smushing it up with my fingers but I found out later its always better to use a blender or food processor – since we don’t have these in the bush , just use your hands. Add an egg to keep it all sticking together and mix well. You are now ready to fry them on the barbie.

Shape the meat into small patty’s and place on barbie next to chips. Flip a few times. You are now done.

Serve with bread and whatever salads have not been destroyed by the heat.

Categories: Australian, boat, bush, entertainment, fishing, funny, Humor, random, Travel, video | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Showing the Bro How its Done Territory Style …


Recently my favorite-only-brother came up to visit me. It was his first Darwin experience so I took it upon myself to be his personal tour guide. First on the agenda was a trip to the Adelaide river where we took a cruise to check out the Jumping Crocs

Todd with his first croc ….

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This one was a bit more active 😉

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Check out the “jumpin croc dance”

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Moving on from crocodiles which to be honest is a relief as they are all I have had to write about lately !!

A few days after the croc cruise we headed off to spend the night at the Bark Hut Inn which is famous for being made pretty much entirely out of bark ( who’d of thunk it ????). It was built in the early days by this old guy called Terry Baldwin and a bunch of local Aboriginal people . Its history revolves around the buffalo industry and it remains pretty much the same today as it was back then which is why I love the place.

The pub also, like a lot of NT pubs, has a little hobby farm where you can find emu’s , snakes , buffalo , and a shitload of ducks. Here are a few pics of our trip to the Bark Hut including our roadside antics …..

On the drive to the pub we had to get through this massive cloud of smoke which was so thick I couldn’t see the road . It was the result of a burn off which is normal here as burning the grass controls bush fires (weird I know). The birds you can see in the pic are cheeky little shits and pick up burning sticks , dropping them somewhere else to start another fire .. so you need to watch those buggers !!!

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It took this pig a while to struggle to her feet but she made it eventually !! This was taken at the Corroboree Pub/Caravan park/Service station/General store …..

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We then decided to show off with the only fish we caught on this trip !! Check out the little girl below us , she ran in to pose with us and changed her mind at the last minute . I have no idea who she is.

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Yay we made it !! Out the front of the Bark Hut

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We are now officially in buffalo territory .. watch out after dark !!!

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The only safe way to drink and drive is to do it in a car with no motor 😉 This is an old buffalo hunting car. I had to kick 2 little kids off to get this pic I hope you guys appreciate my effort !!!

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All my brother wanted to eat was road kill

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This snake was drinking water before I interrupted it – looks pissed off !!

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What every Aussie bar should look like ! I bloody love this place !!!

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Categories: Arnhem Land, Aussie pubs, Australian, bush, crocs, Darwin, entertainment, fishing, funny, Humor, lifestyle, Only in the Territory, Photography, road trips, Travel | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Crazy Pic of The Week


I don’t know where this pic came from but I love it !! A bit behind this week , I usually post these on Mondays but due to an unexpected visit from a mate of mine I was a little too drunk to operate a computer yesterday ….

Categories: bush, crocs, entertainment, funny, Humor, random, WTF | Tags: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

They Probably Should of Checked the Pubs First …..


An old bloke by the name of Douglas Pyne went missing early Saturday morning , leaving the caravan park he lived in Howard Springs ( about 40 km from Darwin ) and announcing to everyone around that he was planning to walk to Palmerston. This is where I must add this old guy is actually 95 yrs old , Palmerston is a fair hike from Howard springs , and its between 25 and 30 degrees Celsius with no shade in that area … so this did concern locals who reported him missing … I’m not sure why , he had just told them where he was going …. but anyway after a day long search he turned up at the Wisdom bar and nightclub which is right in the heart of Darwin ( he obviously was very ambitious or someone has given him a lift as he well and truly bypassed Palmerston !). Another patron spotted him having a beer with his walking frame parked safely next to him and alerted police that he was safe and well. Cant a man go for a beer in peace ???? !!

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Source http://www.ntnews.com.au

 

Categories: Aussie pubs, Australian, cops, Darwin, entertainment, funny, Humor, Only in the Territory, random, road trips, Travel, WTF | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Crazy Pic Of The Week


Crazy Pic Of The Week.

Categories: Darwin, entertainment, funny, humour, lifestyle, Only in the Territory | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

What you can find in the middle of nowhere ….


  What you can find in the middle of nowhere ....

This is a classic example of a typical Aussie outback pub. The Larrimah Wayside Inn is a pub / restaurant /caravan park/ mini zoo located on the Stuart Hwy just south of Katherine. They reckon they have the tallest bar in the territory – its 184.04 meters above sea level – of course thats not the top of the bar 😉 .I stopped here on my treck from Darwin to Albury – Wodonga and thought it was one of the best pubs I had seen  – I was disappointed I didn’t have enough time to stop and have a beer with the locals. I did have time to have a quick look around though and not only does this pub have a giant panther sitting outside , it also has a mini zoo around the back and a room full of snakes (its ok they are in aquariums !). There is also the famous tinnie wall which I guess is a tribute to beer cans …. So if your in Australia and just happen to be traveling southbound down the Stuart Highway pull in and check it out !

Photo : taken by me 😉

Categories: Aussie pubs, entertainment, lifestyle, road trips, Travel | Tags: , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

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