Posts Tagged With: fun

New Project


Its been a while since I did something completely bat shit crazy , so I thought I’d better get on top of things.

Cant you just be happy with your life as it is and just relax and maybe save some money you ask ?

No. No I can not. Because that would be boring and I don’t do boring. Or sensible.

So , using my amazing decision making skills , I decided to buy a thousand year old clapped out campervan with half a floor which ,at this point, requires a small army to set up . Obviously thats not what I see when I look at it. In my mind the floor is fixed , the hydraulic system is in place and now I’m hanging curtains and sewing cushions like Martha fucking Stewart.

Its not going to be easy but thats where I bring in the ”çrew” which so far consists of my old boss , a self confessed ‘Plumber from Hell’ Tinky ,whose favourite word starts with C ends in T and you apparently cant say it in Canada  .  Thats it so far , but his daughter , who I work with at the Ettamogah pub , has volunteered to supervise  with me. Which is code for lets sit around , drink beer and do fuck all while Dad swears his head off.

Anyway here is what I’m dealing with …

 

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Categories: cars, entertainment, lifestyle, road trips, Travel | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments

Top Headlines So Far For 2013 ….


 

Since , as I explained in my last post , I am officially brain-dead due to pregnancy and extreme heat I have decided to entertain you all with my favorite headlines from the Northern Territory so far this year ….

First up , when watermelons can be dangerous ……

 

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After arguing with the bus driver over the fare , the man was kicked off the bus but not before he smashed a watermelon over the bus driver’s head in front of his 4 kids who I’m guessing also missed out on the bus ride thanks to their awesome Dad …..

 

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But the next day the bus driver had the last laugh !

 

Also on the subject of using food as weapons , a pensioner who had his parking skills criticized by a truck driver (who according to the NT news had commented “nice park cockhead “) lost the plot and threw his iced coffee at the bloke before laying into him with his fists . The pensioner was charged with assault after he contacted the truckies workplace to complain .. maybe he should have kept his mouth shut because he was the one who ended up in court with a 2 month suspended sentence ….

 

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Maybe all this aggro is due to the extreme heat we have been dealing with for the last 5 months … I will leave you all with this article which justifies my laziness and the general public’s ‘Mango Madness’ …. We are goin’ troppo up here in the tropics !!!!!

 

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I will be back soon with some more crazy Territory shizzle , hopefully we get a Croc story this week its been a while !

Xx Kel

*Articles from http://www.ntnews.com.au

Categories: cops, Darwin, entertainment, funny, Humor, humour, News, newspaper, Only in the Territory, WTF | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Dinky the Singing Dingo


Thanks to australiantouristpublications.com.au

*pic thanks to australiantouristpublications.com.au

While I was on my road trip from Darwin to Albury a few weeks ago I stopped at many random roadhouses in the middle of the Outback. It was at one of these roadhouses that I met Dinky , Australia’s most talented dingo. Dinky not only can sing , he also plays the piano while belting out his tunes . I was lucky enough to have stopped in Stuart Well NT at the same time as the daily tourist bus so I got to capture this furry superstar on film.  It was one of the more out there experiences I’ve had since I moved to the Territory I must admit ! ( Bloody funny too 😉 )

For more on Dinky , check out this article http://www.australiantraveller.com/alice-springs/the-singing-dingo-alice-springs/

the one thing I must point out is that when the article was written it mentions Dinky is 4 yrs old – he’s a tad bit older than that now so hurry up to Stuart Well and check him out before he gets too old to play the piano !!!!

Categories: animals, Aussie pubs, Australian, bush, entertainment, funny, Humor, humour, Only in the Territory, road trips, Travel, Travel, video | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Just Busy Crossing A Continent and Stuff ….


Last Tuesday the 13th of November I decided to go for a little drive to see my parents . 4 days later I got there .
I wrote a little while ago about not being able to find anywhere for Chaos and Mayhem to spend Christmas. I called every boarding kennel in town only to be told there was no room ( already this was starting to take on a Christmassy theme !! ) . So my next option was to try to get them on the plane with me as baggage ( I wouldn’t tell them that to their faces though .. ) This was possible to do but not at the price they were going to charge me … so my last option was to drive me and the two poochies down to Albury NSW myself – in a 93 model Suzuki Swift hatchback.

Making the best of a not so ideal situation I  entered us all in the Triple J / ABC Open Road Trip Relay which is taking place over summer Australia wide. Since I was driving through the middle of the Australian desert I had Queen of The Desert car stickers and T-shirts made up by an awesome company in Darwin called Gecko Signs  (you can check out their website here ) .

The day before I left I was contacted by Triple J and ABC to talk about my trip and they asked me to film some legs of my journey and edit it with a thing called time-lapse ( I can turn a computer on , type and even Google stuff but that my friends is as tech savvy as Kel gets .. ). So Dave stuck the camera on the dashboard for me with Velcro and I recorded the Stuart Highway from Katherine onwards until I ran into technical difficulties just past Coober Pedy and had to abort the mission. So for anyone who is interested , I have hours of fascinating footage of road , sky and desert.

I did however get some great stuff from the random roadhouses on the side of the lonely old Stuart Highway :

Posing with my old mate .. see if you can find me !

I wrote about this particular pub months ago in this post . I mentioned at the time it has the highest bar in the Northern Territory .. here is my ‘proof’

The highest bar in the Northern Territory

A service station at Wycliffe Well , UFO capital of Australia ( I kid you not )

Wycliffe well .. UFO capital of Australia

And in Stuart Well I found Dinky the Singing dingo who is also a very talented piano player – I have a video clip for you guys but this will be posted separately – this K9 deserves his very own post !!

*The article is about Donna the ‘hearing’ guide dingo being brought up to the NT ( by train .. she had her own seat ! ) to meet Dinky , the singing dingo .

We couldn’t resist getting into the fun and games at the last pub ( or the first depending on which direction you are headed ! ) in the Northern Territory ( Kulgera Roadhouse/pub/caravan park ) …

Chaos , Mayhem and Kel

I also met a few interesting characters on the way including a chap from Coober Pedy who was actually involved in shooting ‘ Priscilla , Queen of The Desert years ago when it was filmed in the outback . He loved my car and we have kept in touch via Facebook since. I also interviewed a young fellow from Mataranka for the Road Trip relay comp but after interviewing him I’m not quite sure he actually was a local .. thoughts that were pretty much confirmed as I ran into them at nearly every petrol station after Mataranka until I hit Port Augusta in South Australia . Oh well at least he pretended on film which is the main thing 😉

* My ‘stalkers’ outside a Coober Pedy servo.

Unlike the last time I crossed the country when I had to sleep in my troopy on the side of the road , this time around I booked hotel and caravan park accommodation along the way . Again the highlight was Coober Pedy where I slept in an ‘ underground camp site ‘ which was really just a motel bed in a cave :

There was also little cave like spots for people to pitch a tent for the night .. underground .. yep made no bloody sense to me either but apparently that’s how they roll in the desert ..

I thought this particular tent was a display of what it was like in the old days so I was snapping away happily at 630am until I heard a loud cough from inside the tent .. woops …

And finally the last pic of this little motel tour , the front entrance to our digs

This was my last night in the desert before I crossed over to NSW and Victoria , spending my last night on the road in a little town called Broken Hill. It was a great trip and the dogs did a great job of not pissing me off too much .. Chaos has been all over Australia ( except Western Australia and Tasmania ) but this was little Mayhem’s first trip anywhere .. she was a natural ..

* Maisie finds her comfort zone in the car.

In between naps she would climb up behind the back seat and launch herself kamikaze style at Chaos’s head . It kept them amused …..

Until next time !!

Cheers

Kel xx

Categories: animals, Aussie pubs, Australian, bush, cars, entertainment, funny, Humor, humour, lifestyle, Photography, random, road trips, Travel, WTF | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Crazy Pic of The Week – A Chaos special


 

Chaos dealing with the heat of the ‘buildup’ – yes he managed to get his whole head underwater the crazy bugger !!

(That was the day I decided walking him before 5 pm is not a great idea )

Categories: animals, entertainment, funny, Humor, humour, Photography, random | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I Am Not The Animal Whisperer .. Can Someone Explain This to Them ???


Ahhhh real bush living , it doesn’t get much better than this . My new house is doing me the world of good , and I don’t regret moving out here at all .. Its just some things take more getting used to than others …

I have become the female Aussie version of Dr Dolittle . Indoors or outdoors every time I turn around a little non-human face is watching me. I have a house full of geckos , a toilet full of green tree frogs – and occasionally the odd spider , a possum or two in the roof and the biggest fattest cane toads in Australia. A few days ago I was walking  Chaos and spotted my first snake out here which was a bit ironic as I was walking through the nudist camp next door – my mother of all people was the first one to turn that story into a rude joke . I go to have a shower and there is usually a tree frog hiding under the taps ( I suspect as I am starting to look like a tree frog myself he may be perving on me …)

I don’t mind him apart from the fact he moves between the toilet and the shower which makes him a bit of a weirdo but at least he isn’t a toad …

The cane toads can always be relied upon to show up when you least expect it , like when you grab your shoe off the ground and a toad the size of Dave’s hand jumps out from underneath ( at 5am in the morning this is a better wake up call than coffee).

Apart from the nudist’s , my other neighbor’s are buffalo and walking around the block has never been so intimidating. They are apparently ‘tame’ but that doesn’t make me feel any better – just last week a Territory man was gored to death by his own pet bull. And they just stare at you – they make me feel like I’m the one with horns growing out of my head !

So I did what anyone would do when they are surrounded by animals – I got another one ! Introducing Mayhem …

* Little Maisy
Now there is a method to my madness , I bought Mayhem ( Maisy) to keep Chaos company because when this little Gumnut Kid gets here he will not be getting as much attention . I thought a friend would be the perfect solution – I was wrong. For the last few days he has been treating her as if she doesn’t exist. So I have 2 dogs that want my undivided attention instead of amusing each other !!! It will get better I have been told – apparently male dogs aren’t that interested in puppies so hopefully he’ll snap out of his attitude by the time the baby arrives.

I have to finish this post now as Maisy has just regurgitated earplugs all over the floor and I need to clean it up before she walks it through the house ….

Categories: animals, bush, funny, Humor, humour, lifestyle, Only in the Territory, Photography, random | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

A Pool Party Is Not Complete Without a Saltie …….


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In true Territory style , the under 12 Litchfeild Bears Rugby team celebrated the fact they have made it to the semi finals this year with a pool party – and among the guests was a 11-year-old 2 meter long saltwater croc called Snappy.  The kids had the time of their lives swimming with a real live croc who had his snout safely shut with rubber bands . Poor Snappy tried to hide in the deep end ( he must love under 12 rugby teams about as much as I do ..) but the kids were not going to let him get away easily , diving down and pushing the pissed off croc back up to the surface . According to one of the parents , the kids “loved it , everyone had big smiles on”…. well except Snappy who probably would have been smiling if those rubber bands slipped off his snout !!

 

Pic and info : http://www.ntnews.com.au

Categories: crocs, Darwin, entertainment, funny, Humor, lifestyle, News, Only in the Territory, WTF | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Horny Hogs Terrorizing the Territory !!


If you were to believe the NT news that is ! I must admit where would this blog be without them ? Last week it was spa bathing buffalo , this week its a couch lovin’ pig !

As always when I arrive for work each morning at Hot 100 I collect the morning papers to hand out to all the freebie huntin’ masses of Darwin. I flick through the paper while I wait for the station to call for my location . Today when I got to page 3 I absolutley pissed myself laughing ….

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This furniture lovin’ piggy was spotted yesterday in a suburb of Darwin having sex with an armchair in the middle of the road. Now this sort of thing happens all the time out in the bush , but Darwin is a ‘capital city’ as one witness told the paper ( calling Darwin a city might be going a little far – maybe one day but I’m pretty sure to be a city you need to have shitloads of people living there). Last year the NT news ran a story about Horny Harry , a pet pig living in the community of Gunbalanya , NT who had a loving relationship with wheelie bins and thinks he is a camp dog … Harry’s owner caught the piglet 2 or 3 years ago as a pet for his daughter. He maintains Harry is just an ordinary pig who sometimes knocks over bins . Another resident added in “yeah and then he fucks ’em”. Charming !

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Harry Trotter and his pack of adoring camp dogs PIC : MICHAEL FRANCHI www.ntnews.com.au

Categories: bush, Darwin, entertainment, funny, Humor, News, newspaper, Only in the Territory, radio, WTF | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Wildlife Around Here Are Starting To Get A Bit Fancy …..


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Todays front page of the NT News www.ntnews.com.au

The northern Territory is a magical place full of awesome landscapes , beautiful sunsets , golden opportunities and some fucking crazy animals.

The other day , a couple in Howard Springs , just south of Darwin , woke to find a water buffalo roaming around their property. Despite being pretty bloody dangerous , this buff seemed quiet tame and the lady of the house was able to pat the beast .. well until it started headbutting her as what she hoped was a sign of affection ….

After a while they had to head off to work and assumed the Buffalo had left the property by the time they arrived home.

Wrong.

They arrived home that evening to find the Buff had taken a fancy to their spa !

This seems to happen a lot up here , animals thinking that if its good enough for humans then they should get a go too . Earlier this year I wrote a post about a croc who broke into the living room of a Darwin based family and 2 years ago a croc was found in another family’s outdoor spa.

So the moral of the story is be very wary entering your home or your pool if you live in the Territory – you never know what might be lurking in there !

Categories: Australian, bush, crocs, Darwin, entertainment, funny, Humor, News, newspaper, Only in the Territory, WTF | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

A Postcard From Broome


Dear Everyone ,

I have left the Territory ! Not for good , rest easy Ill be back ( yes that’s a threat AND a promise !).

I am currently on a working holiday in Broome , Western Australia which is , according to the brochure in font of me , 2,389 km north of Perth and 1,859 km south west of Darwin NT. I am working at the Roebuck Hotel as a skimpy barmaid 4 hrs a day , 6 days a week and the rest of the time I am shopping , exploring and lying around this place ….

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I have to say the accommodation this venue gives it’s workers makes every other place I have traveled to for work look like prison camps ! We get our own hotel room which is serviced daily and one free restaurant meal a day usually valued around $40. The last time I worked away I was given a room above the pub which in order to go to the toilet I had to walk down two corridors and unlock several doors .. then there was a storm and the roof caved in above my room. The meals were whatever was left at 9pm in the bain maree of the pub next door – usually something nice and cold ;). So needless to say this time round I am in heaven !!

I never did explain to everyone exactly what my blog title is about – well the skimpy style part anyway .. Now seems an appropriate time to do this. I fly to mining towns around Australia and work for two weeks behind the bar of the local pub , usually dressed something like this …

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In some places , every hour a girl will walk around the bar with a jug and collect money then all the skimpys will change into a bikini or lingerie for half an hour while working. I made $5000 in one week doing this ! This particular hotel does not make you do jugs ( pun intended hahaha ) which I like because I hate doing them although the extra money would of been handy. Even without the extra tips I still stand to make $2000 in 2 weeks working bugger all hours so gotta be happy with that !

This Sunday we are being taken on a tour by the locals we have met so I will have more to report on Broome after the weekend. Ill leave you with a few more happy snaps and another apology for being so sporadic with my posts , I am literally all over the place at the moment !!

Cheers ! Kel Xx

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Sun Pictures – An old out door cinema and where I will be tonight after work 😀

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A shady picture of me with a statue of an old school Pearl Diver …

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My co Skimpy and biggest Munroe fan ever the lovely Ruby 🙂

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Checking out some real photography !!

Categories: Aussie pubs, entertainment, fashion, funny, Humor, Photography, Travel | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

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