Posts Tagged With: Northern Territory

I Am Not The Animal Whisperer .. Can Someone Explain This to Them ???


Ahhhh real bush living , it doesn’t get much better than this . My new house is doing me the world of good , and I don’t regret moving out here at all .. Its just some things take more getting used to than others …

I have become the female Aussie version of Dr Dolittle . Indoors or outdoors every time I turn around a little non-human face is watching me. I have a house full of geckos , a toilet full of green tree frogs – and occasionally the odd spider , a possum or two in the roof and the biggest fattest cane toads in Australia. A few days ago I was walking  Chaos and spotted my first snake out here which was a bit ironic as I was walking through the nudist camp next door – my mother of all people was the first one to turn that story into a rude joke . I go to have a shower and there is usually a tree frog hiding under the taps ( I suspect as I am starting to look like a tree frog myself he may be perving on me …)

I don’t mind him apart from the fact he moves between the toilet and the shower which makes him a bit of a weirdo but at least he isn’t a toad …

The cane toads can always be relied upon to show up when you least expect it , like when you grab your shoe off the ground and a toad the size of Dave’s hand jumps out from underneath ( at 5am in the morning this is a better wake up call than coffee).

Apart from the nudist’s , my other neighbor’s are buffalo and walking around the block has never been so intimidating. They are apparently ‘tame’ but that doesn’t make me feel any better – just last week a Territory man was gored to death by his own pet bull. And they just stare at you – they make me feel like I’m the one with horns growing out of my head !

So I did what anyone would do when they are surrounded by animals – I got another one ! Introducing Mayhem …

* Little Maisy
Now there is a method to my madness , I bought Mayhem ( Maisy) to keep Chaos company because when this little Gumnut Kid gets here he will not be getting as much attention . I thought a friend would be the perfect solution – I was wrong. For the last few days he has been treating her as if she doesn’t exist. So I have 2 dogs that want my undivided attention instead of amusing each other !!! It will get better I have been told – apparently male dogs aren’t that interested in puppies so hopefully he’ll snap out of his attitude by the time the baby arrives.

I have to finish this post now as Maisy has just regurgitated earplugs all over the floor and I need to clean it up before she walks it through the house ….

Categories: animals, bush, funny, Humor, humour, lifestyle, Only in the Territory, Photography, random | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Crazy Pic of The Week


 

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Dave and I went for a bush – bash in his ‘cruiser through our new property .. And came face to face with this goofy looking termite mound

Pic : Taken by us ! 🙂

 

Categories: Australian, bush, entertainment, funny, Humor, humour, Only in the Territory, Photography, random, WTF | Tags: , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Crazy Pic of The Week


 

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A saltwater crocodile takes on a helicopter – according to the website I found this on the crewman said to the pilot “Keep your doors closed , I think we have a problem !”

You think ??

Pic thanks to http://www.2dayfm.com.au

 

Categories: crocs, entertainment, funny, Humor, Machinery, motor sports, Photography, WTF | Tags: , , , , , | 3 Comments

Horny Hogs Terrorizing the Territory !!


If you were to believe the NT news that is ! I must admit where would this blog be without them ? Last week it was spa bathing buffalo , this week its a couch lovin’ pig !

As always when I arrive for work each morning at Hot 100 I collect the morning papers to hand out to all the freebie huntin’ masses of Darwin. I flick through the paper while I wait for the station to call for my location . Today when I got to page 3 I absolutley pissed myself laughing ….

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This furniture lovin’ piggy was spotted yesterday in a suburb of Darwin having sex with an armchair in the middle of the road. Now this sort of thing happens all the time out in the bush , but Darwin is a ‘capital city’ as one witness told the paper ( calling Darwin a city might be going a little far – maybe one day but I’m pretty sure to be a city you need to have shitloads of people living there). Last year the NT news ran a story about Horny Harry , a pet pig living in the community of Gunbalanya , NT who had a loving relationship with wheelie bins and thinks he is a camp dog … Harry’s owner caught the piglet 2 or 3 years ago as a pet for his daughter. He maintains Harry is just an ordinary pig who sometimes knocks over bins . Another resident added in “yeah and then he fucks ’em”. Charming !

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Harry Trotter and his pack of adoring camp dogs PIC : MICHAEL FRANCHI www.ntnews.com.au

Categories: bush, Darwin, entertainment, funny, Humor, News, newspaper, Only in the Territory, radio, WTF | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Update on the Cracker up The Clacker – And a Croc gets a Taste of His Own Medicine …… Just Another Day in The Territory !


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Pic : wallcoo.net

I thought I owed it to you guys to bring you the conclusion to the story of the bloke who shoved a lit fire cracker in his bum not so long ago. It was reported in the NT News today that he would not be charged for the incident as the police feel he has suffered enough – for once I agree with them. I am really thinking about contacting this guy for a kel style interview but I’m not sure how he will react – apparently he is not keen on any interviews about the firecracker in the bum thing. Not sure why …

Moving right along we had another classic NT news story today. The headline was – I kid you not – ” Man bites croc on snout after croc bites another mans head”  Some men were fishing in croc infested waters and one was in the water doing god knows what ( I’m not into fishing , can you tell ??) when a croc leaped out of the water and grabbed him by the head pulling him under the waves. The rest of the story involves one of his mates biting the reptile on the snout whilst his other mate stabbed the croc repeatedly with a screw driver as the croc kept losing and then regaining his grip on the poor fisherman who was in the middle of all the drama. In the end the croc gave up and swam off to eat a barramundi or something and the injured fisherman lived to see another day , surprisingly with all his limbs intact.

Just another day in the Northern Territory !

Categories: Australian, boat, bush, crocs, Darwin, entertainment, fishing, funny, Humor, News, newspaper, Only in the Territory, random, WTF | Tags: , , , , , | 1 Comment

Broome Part 2 : Kellie Vs Camel


I have just returned to Darwin after 2 glorious weeks in sunny Broome WA , which was pretty much the same as sunny Darwin NT except the locals reckon there are no crocs on the beach. This made Dave laugh when I told him so to be safe I just stuck a toe or 2 in the water’s edge then freaked out and ran back up the sand dunes .. like the tough bushwoman I am 😉

We worked 6 days a week and had both Sunday’s off , which was when we decided to do our tourist crap. The first week we were taken to a couple of local beaches only accessible by 4wheel drive

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Price Point , 1/2 hour drive from Broome. They are planning to build a gas plant out here which the hippy’s and locals are not happy about . They have been camped out here for months protesting …

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Next stop , the town beach where I thought Id use my creativity and pose with a rock ..

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And finally got a lift home in the back of a Troopy which was a slightly better version of my old one …

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The next Sunday was our last day in Broome. We decided to mark the occasion by going on a camel ride which I thought everyone in Broome did but apparently not. All the locals were like ” What do you wanna ride a bloody camel for ? You should go to the croc farm” to which I replied “What would I want to see a bloody croc for ? I live in Darwin!”

Anyway here are the camel riding pics , it was a gorgeous sunset ride .. Our camels name was Issacc just in case your interested 😉

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Ruby , Issacc and I

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Awesome sunset

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Adios Amigo’s .. oh shit that’s Spanish ! Sayin goodbye Territory Style !!

Categories: Australian, crocs, entertainment, funny, Humor, lifestyle, Photography, road trips, Travel | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments

A Postcard From Broome


Dear Everyone ,

I have left the Territory ! Not for good , rest easy Ill be back ( yes that’s a threat AND a promise !).

I am currently on a working holiday in Broome , Western Australia which is , according to the brochure in font of me , 2,389 km north of Perth and 1,859 km south west of Darwin NT. I am working at the Roebuck Hotel as a skimpy barmaid 4 hrs a day , 6 days a week and the rest of the time I am shopping , exploring and lying around this place ….

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I have to say the accommodation this venue gives it’s workers makes every other place I have traveled to for work look like prison camps ! We get our own hotel room which is serviced daily and one free restaurant meal a day usually valued around $40. The last time I worked away I was given a room above the pub which in order to go to the toilet I had to walk down two corridors and unlock several doors .. then there was a storm and the roof caved in above my room. The meals were whatever was left at 9pm in the bain maree of the pub next door – usually something nice and cold ;). So needless to say this time round I am in heaven !!

I never did explain to everyone exactly what my blog title is about – well the skimpy style part anyway .. Now seems an appropriate time to do this. I fly to mining towns around Australia and work for two weeks behind the bar of the local pub , usually dressed something like this …

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In some places , every hour a girl will walk around the bar with a jug and collect money then all the skimpys will change into a bikini or lingerie for half an hour while working. I made $5000 in one week doing this ! This particular hotel does not make you do jugs ( pun intended hahaha ) which I like because I hate doing them although the extra money would of been handy. Even without the extra tips I still stand to make $2000 in 2 weeks working bugger all hours so gotta be happy with that !

This Sunday we are being taken on a tour by the locals we have met so I will have more to report on Broome after the weekend. Ill leave you with a few more happy snaps and another apology for being so sporadic with my posts , I am literally all over the place at the moment !!

Cheers ! Kel Xx

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Sun Pictures – An old out door cinema and where I will be tonight after work 😀

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A shady picture of me with a statue of an old school Pearl Diver …

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My co Skimpy and biggest Munroe fan ever the lovely Ruby 🙂

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Checking out some real photography !!

Categories: Aussie pubs, entertainment, fashion, funny, Humor, Photography, Travel | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Crazy Pic of The Week


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My friends from WA , Kristy (pictured) and Leah found some of Darwin’s hottest bachelor’s !!!

Sorry I have not been very punctual with the crazy pics – they are supposed to be published weekly and I think I have missed the last 2 weeks all together !! Well I do have my reason’s…

A) In order to write this blog I need to get out there and do shit so I can write about it .. otherwise I may as well just post link’s to a NT tourism site and be done with it ..

B) I am still hard at work getting my event planning bizo up and running ( hard when everyone around you run’s on Territory Time ).

C) I have decided to take a fellow blogger’s advice ( Kathy from Reinventing the Event Horizon) who suggested after a post I wrote that I turn my stories into a book .. which isn’t quite happening yet however I have written 1034 words so far , so , you know , I’m on my way 😉

As well as all this soon I plan to have a Vlog section of my blog which will basically show me , making a dick of myself , in front of the entire world .. lucky for me I’m willing to sacrifice my dignity for my art :p I also haven’t forgotten my promise (threat) to start publishing recipe’s .. this WILL happen as soon as I get my appetite back ( I have been a bit crook over the past few days – the last thing I felt like doing was cooking). So keep an eye out for Croc Kebabs and Roo Burgers coming soon …..

Ok so I probably sound like I’m taking on way too much at once but that’s how I roll .. Life would be too bloody boring otherwise 😀

Categories: Australian, bush, crocs, Darwin, entertainment, funny, Humor, Only in the Territory, Photography, random, WTF | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Crazy Pic of The Week


This crazy lady was posing on another female’s turf !

http://www.ntnews.com.au

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Categories: bush, crocs, Darwin, entertainment, funny, Humor, Only in the Territory, Photography, WTF | Tags: , , | 2 Comments

2 Girls and a Bundy Bear Go Bush !!!


Yesterday was awesome. First of all we went to one of my favorite places – the Buely Rockhole , Litchfeild National Park. Secondly I went with some cool people – my boyfriend Dave and my flatmate Jodie. And the best bit – we took shitloads of vodka and rum – always makes every occasion more enjoyable !!

So I can’t tell you much about the day except at one point we decided to impersonate Swedish backpackers and posed topless with a funny road sign (I’m pretty sure  I also tried to use it as a stripper pole) – a set of pics I’m definitely NOT showing you guys !

Here are some PG rated pics 😉

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Attempting to cross a waterfall after a few vodka lime and soda’s .. looks like Dave is coming to my rescue .. and yes , I nearly fell in

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Nah its all good Dave , I can do it alone …

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Oh alright then I will let you help me …. oh by the way that is not coffee in that cup – I’m guessing a lot of by standers would have been wondering why A) my coffee seems to be lasting so long and B) Why , with every sip , I seem to giggle more .. To be honest the reason I was using a coffee cup instead of a normal one was because I needed something with a lid to stop me spilling my vodka everywhere which is standard practice for drunk-Kel 😉

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The water was crystal clear ..

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The view from our VIP section – we climbed the fence to get our own private rockpool. If anyone came too close we just scared them away with our craziness – plus Dave resembles that big bloke from Harry Potter so just seeing him alone is enough for people to keep their distance.

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The only picture taken with this sign suitable for my blog .. or any social media site actually ..

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Goodbye Litchfeild , we’ll be back soon !!!

Categories: Australian, bush, entertainment, funny, Humor, lifestyle, Only in the Territory, Photography, random, road trips, Travel | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

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